Now, techonoloji too improves and our life are very easy. So, people has got a lot of free time. For this, they find something suchas football, basketball, tennis... But, most of people play football. There are three cause of playing football such as cerenomy, financal, enjoy.
First cause in on cerenomy. For instance, football is a religion in Brezilya. There are not people not play football while they were child. For example Alex who is from Brezilian. He started to playing football while he was child. Therefore, he are playing very well and only he can find his football team.Clearly, football is a belief.
Second cause is on financal. Football is a job that do for money like other jobs. Someof people play to football to earn money. There are a lot of examples such as Alex, Ronaldo, Volkan. So,thanks to football most of people can earn money.
Third and most general cause is on enjoy. So what, 65 percent pf people play football to spend their free time by enjoy. For example, although my father is tired he plays football with friend every weekend. Only to like football, enjoy.
In summarize, football is cerenomy in some place, source of money for some people, but, for most of people football is source of enjoy.
your introduction seems ok, but I think you can organize it better. you have combined your sentences and thesis sharply. try to make smoother connections between your sentences.
YanıtlaSiluse a sentence after "for example".
your topics are ok, but you should explain them more. they are too short.
your conclusion is also too short. work on your cocnlusion more.
by the way, you should read your essay after you write it. there are some problems with sentence structure. therefore pay more attention to your grammar too.
I will cry :( :) L know because I quickly write to this. I think so, it was too bad. I will try to develop my sentences and paragraphs. Thank you my teacher :)
YanıtlaSil